Thursday, 2 April 2020

TEST MATCH

yo!... what a game... innit!


palookaville bowled out...

evva one...

stumped...


HOWZAT


despite taking an early bath...

and...

being disqualified...


fo breakin a rules...

an settin a virus loose...

befo evva one else was ready...



SUPERVISOR


they gotta howzat suits...

anna n95 masks...

anna visors...

anna supervisors


LOST WAGES



Well I've been around the world

And I've been in the Washington Zoo

And in all my travels

As the facts unravel

I've found this to be true

While the poor people sleepin'

With the shade on the light

While the poor people sleepin'

All the stars come out at night

 they got the steely dan t-shirts...

and ventilators they need...

all that money can buy...


OUT FOR A DUCK


turning up without proper kit...

and during...

a maiden over..

the palookaville team...

suffer a batting collapse...

and itta long walk back to a pavillion...

without any kit


 NO WAY TO PLAY A TEST MATCH


don't test don't tell


IT'S THE MUSHROOM TREATMENT STUPID

keep em inna dark

covered inna shit


STAY OFF THE PITCH


spectators...

are asked to watch from home...

or the coronagate hotel...

do not pass go...

 do not collect £ 200 $


GERMANY 5   ENGLAND NIL


On Feb 25, when much of Europe still believed it could avoid the coronavirus crisis, news broke that a 47-year-old man had tested positive in Germany.
As authorities raced to track anyone the sick man had been in contact with, a terrifying picture emerged. He had spent the previous 10 days at carnival celebrations where he could have infected hundreds of people.
But experts now agree Germany did one crucial thing right at that moment. It started testing everyone who had been in contact with the infected man.
Little more than a month later, Germany is now testing around 500,000 of its citizens every week.
Britain, meanwhile, is lagging far behind, with only around 8,000 people tested per day.








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