Thursday 3 December 2009

THE SILVER BULLET

yo!...kimosabe...innit!


PALOOKAVILLE FINANCIAL
Christmas Special


...this Christmas...


...here in...


...palookaville...


...a great hero rides to the rescue...


THE LOAN ARANGER


...even though the banks are all bust...


...and the government coffers are empty...


...public spending will rise...


...government debt will increase...


...suckers will keep us all afloat...


ONLY A FOOL WOULD SAY THAT





...when you have the lone ranger on your side...


...nothing can go wrong for long...


...he will fire his silver bullet at the debt...


...and it will disappear...


I HAVE SEEN THIS WITH MY OWN EYES


...it's all recorded in black and white...


...we used to see him every week on tv...


...even his horse is silver...


...he wears a mask...


...and has a native american sidekick...


...together they make the quantum jump...




petey...hiho silver aaaawwaaaaayyyyyyy!

Sunday 29 November 2009

GLOBAL WARNING

yo!...what climate gate tapes?...innit!


PALOOKAGATE SCIENTIFIC
"numbers alone add up to nothing"


...here in palookaville...

...nobody reads the blogs...



...strictly come dancing...

...is how we run the news...


...every one knows that scientists...


...live by funding...


...so why would we be surprised...


...when they try to rig their data?...


Climate change: this is the worst scientific scandal of our generation


...A week after my colleague James Delingpole, on his Telegraph blog, coined the term "Climategate" to describe the scandal revealed by the leaked emails from the University of East Anglia's Climatic Research Unit, Google was showing that the word now appears across the internet more than nine million times. But in all these acres of electronic coverage, one hugely relevant point about these thousands of documents has largely been missed.

The reason why even the Guardian's George Monbiot has expressed total shock and dismay at the picture revealed by the documents is that their authors are not just any old bunch of academics. Their importance cannot be overestimated, What we are looking at here is the small group of scientists who have for years been more influential in driving the worldwide alarm over global warming than any others, not least through the role they play at the heart of the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC)...


...The third shocking revelation of these documents is the ruthless way in which these academics have been determined to silence any expert questioning of the findings they have arrived at by such dubious methods – not just by refusing to disclose their basic data but by discrediting and freezing out any scientific journal which dares to publish their critics' work. It seems they are prepared to stop at nothing to stifle scientific debate in this way, not least by ensuring that no dissenting research should find its way into the pages of IPCC reports.

Back in 2006, when the eminent US statistician Professor Edward Wegman produced an expert report for the US Congress vindicating Steve McIntyre's demolition of the "hockey stick", he excoriated the way in which this same "tightly knit group" of academics seemed only too keen to collaborate with each other and to "peer review" each other's papers in order to dominate the findings of those IPCC reports on which much of the future of the US and world economy may hang. In light of the latest revelations, it now seems even more evident that these men have been failing to uphold those principles which lie at the heart of genuine scientific enquiry and debate. Already one respected US climate scientist, Dr Eduardo Zorita, has called for Dr Mann and Dr Jones to be barred from any further participation in the IPCC. Even our own George Monbiot, horrified at finding how he has been betrayed by the supposed experts he has been revering and citing for so long, has called for Dr Jones to step down as head of the CRU"...Christopher Booker



SPIN THE WEB YA SPIDER BASTARD


...what sort of wimp would tell the truth...


...if it threatened their funding?...


LETS WORK TOGETHER


...united they stand...


...and the truth is buried...


...bullshit baffles brains...


...innit!..

Friday 27 November 2009

THINGS TO DO IN DUBAI WHEN IN DEBT

yo!...can't pay, won't pay...innit!


PALOOKAVILLE FINANCIAL
black friday


...in japan...

...In the deserts of Sudan...
...And the markets of Japan
From Milan to Yucatan
Every woman, every man

Hit me with your credit stick.
Hit me! Hit me!
Je t'adore, ich liebe dich,
Hit me! hit me! hit me!
Hit me with your credit stick.
Hit me slowly, hit me quick.
Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!

In the wilds of Borneo
And the banks of Bordeaux
Eskimo, Arapaho
Move their money to and fro....

THE BITCH IS BACK

...here in palookaville...


...people think it's all over...

Global markets hit by fresh bout of selling


Yen hits fresh 14-year high as investors dump stocks


Darling to admit recession is worse than he forecast


Ports face crisis as volumes fall


Dubai is just a harbinger of things to come for sovereign debt


..."Small wonder, though, that this minor tremor has sent such shock waves around the wider capital markets. The fear is that threatened default in this tiny desert kingdom is just a harginger of things to come for government debt markets as a whole. According to new estimates by Moody’s, the credit rating agency, the total stock of sovereign debt worldwide will have risen by nearly 50 per cent between 2007 and 2010 to $15.3 trillion. The great bulk of this increase comes not from irrelevant little states like Dubai, but from the big advanced economies – America, Europe, and Japan"....


...in japan...

...Tokyo warns of double-dip recession...

..."Fears that figures suggesting an economic recovery may have been a false dawn were intensified yesterday when Japan’s Prime Minister sounded an official alarm that the country risked falling into a “double-dip” recession.

With the bedrock of Japan’s export industry ravaged by both a recent plunge back into deflation and the soaring yen, Yukio Hatoyama said that “measures are required so that the economy will not fall into a double-dip recession”.

His comments are expected to spark alarm as other governments have quietly begun to acknowledge the possibility that the worst may not be over"....



Monday 19 October 2009

FREE BUT DOWN IN THE GUTTER

yo!...canned heat...innit!


PALOOKAVILLE FINANCIAL
capitulation day+a year or so



...government sucks...


...the well known treasury department...


...has taken over the country...


...read mish...



Tuesday 6 October 2009

OH DEAR...

yo!...bummer...innit!


PENSIONS KAPUTNIK DAY


...here in palookagrad today...


...the planners are breaking the bad news to the proles...


...you have to work longer folks...


...THEY AIN'T NO JOBS...


...you have to come off incapacity benefit and go to work...


...only...


...THEY AIN'T NO JOBS...


POLITICAL SUICIDE


...everyone knows something has to give...


...but...


...not that it should be given by them...


...the fact is that the government has bust the country...


...and that their index-linked pensions are safe...


...not to mention their buy-to-let portfolios...


...paid for by expenses claims (us)...


don't worry


...we will not have to work longer though...


...because...


1. they ain't no jobs...


2. most middle class people work for the government...


3. that means index-linked pensions from age 60...


4. the rest will be on benefits...


5. only idiots who have saved money will pay...


6. obviously that is a very small number...

Sunday 4 October 2009

NO MEANS YES

yo!...result...innit!


CAPITULATION DAY


...European Cup...


...Ireland 0 Germany 1...


WE HAVE WAYS OF MAKING YOU SAY YES


...debt put the Ice in Ireland...


...here in palookagrad...


...we don,t even get to play...


...our great leader...


...comrade mandelson...


...has denied us the chance of...


...victory in Europe...


PRESIDENT BLAIR


...the man who brought us...


...to where we are today...


...hopes to become the...


...first...


...unelected president of the...


EUROPEAN DISUNION


...rumour has it...he hopes to start the...


...next war...


...we are going to invade Iran...


...by proxy of course...


...he will send a team...


...of such...


...incompetence...


...that their economy will implode...


...even with all that oil...


...incompetence is his thing...


...having saved Irak...


...from peace and...


...some dismalness...


...he hopes for the same success...


...with...


IRAn


...with Ireland now fully...


...integrated into the new...


...DISUNION...


...perhaps the IRA can be...


...parachuted in to the desert...


...and paid to blow up the nuclear facilities...


...before the Israelis do...


PEACE IN OUR TOWN


...financial news follows...


...world trade has collapsed...


...tony blair and his team...


...have declared the recovery over...


...all the investor...


...has started to take profits...


...

Monday 14 September 2009

THAT GREAT DAY HAS COME

yo!...happy birthday...innit!


PALOOKAVILLE FINANCIAL
capitulation day+365...


...all is quiet on the financial front...


...in palookagrad today...


...all is changed...


...prime minister mandelson and comissar brown...


...are awaiting re-election...


...on the back of their zombie recovery...



BEAR MARKET BULL


...since the chicken's head was bitten off...


...and the politix danced around the fires of the burning banks...


...all the talk is of the new bull market...


...the great recovery...


...how it was all just a panic...


...well maybe they are right


and we can sleep easy in our beds


and all the young unemployed can play football


travel, crochet, see a movie...



NEGATIVE FOR NEGATIVE'S SAKE


...baltic dry is down again...


...but only 40%...


...ships lie idle all over the world...


...but only 12%...


...house prices have stabilised...


...honest!..


...not...


...cars sales have risen...


...from the ashes...


...on free money incentives...


...in japan...


...they are spending like there's no tomorrow...


...in china inventories are up...


...flats are empty...


...but inventory is up...


SHORT FOR SHORT'S SAKE


...come on sh*t for brains...


...pile in now...


...this is the biggest free ride the politix will ever provide...


...capitulation day?...


...moral hazard...


...what a twat!..



halfcat : don y'all mind petey non...he jus a shadder o his ol sell...



petey : oh yeah...an this...

Professor Tim Congdon from International Monetary Research said US bank loans have fallen at an annual pace of almost 14pc in the three months to August (from $7,147bn to $6,886bn).

"There has been nothing like this in the USA since the 1930s," he said. "The rapid destruction of money balances is madness."



petey : ...disclaimer...an obviously...this aint no advice...etc. etc.










Thursday 3 September 2009

MAKE IT SO 如此做它

yo!...defying gravity...innit!


財務的PALOOKAVILLE
投降日347


bloomberg...Sept. 3 (Bloomberg) -- China’s stocks rose for a third day, driving the Shanghai Composite Index to its biggest gain in six months, on speculation regulators will adopt measures to boost the nation’s equities following declines in the past month...


...The government may take measures to stabilize the market before the 60th anniversary of the founding of the People’s Republic of China on Oct. 1, the start of a weeklong holiday.

“They want everything to be stable and in harmony,” said Francis Lun, general manager of Fulbright Securities Ltd., in an interview with Bloomberg Television today. “They will approve more stock market funds and allow them to buy into the market.”...


...here in...


...palookagrad...


...all things are possible...


...but...


...most things are fixed...



...in theory...


...the gamblers bets should be winning all the time...


...except when they do not...


...of course...


...nobody knows when this must happen...



Monday 31 August 2009

VD day

yo!...top...innit!



PALOOKAVILLE FINANCIAL
capitulation day+345


...here in...


...palookaville...


...they think it's all over...


Now it’s looking like V for victory over recession






...everybody knows...


...government sucks...



WE HAVE WAYS OF MAKING YOU INVEST



...the souffle...


...will rise again...



...a recovery will be crammed down our throats...



...like it or not...



...he who prints the money...


...calls the shots...




VICTORY DEPRESSION DAY



...labor day to be renamed...



...every year the unemployed will get one day of work...


...it will mark the end of summer...


...the end of the recession that never was...



is it breakfast yet?




Friday 28 August 2009

BABYLON BE THY NAME

yo!..suckers...innit!


PALOOKAVILLE FINANCIAL
capitulation day+342


...the story so far...


nouriel : ..."In the last few months the world economy has been saved from a near depression...

...That feat has been achieved by a range of extraordinary government stimulus measures...

In the U.S. and in China, and to a lesser extent in Europe, Japan and other countries...

...governments have pumped liquidity...

...slashed policy rates...

...cut taxes...

...primed demand...

... and ring-fenced and back-stopped the financial system...
All of this has worked...

...but it has worked at a cost...
Governments have been spending and borrowing like never before...

...The question now is: how do they stop?

...This is not a simple problem...


...Restore normality too soon...


...and the risk is that a weak recovery will double dip into a second and deeper recession...


...Restore it too late and inflation will already be ingrained"...


PAINT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL


petey :

...here in ...

...palookagrad...


...we are...


...uncertain...


...we would have been much happier...

...if the politix...

...had let the markets sort out the mess...

...but...

...vested interest...

...has stolen the day...


THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN


...yes the game is fixed...


...and yes you have to play...


...just don't be under any illusions...


...about efficient markets...


...or best advice...


...or rules...


...or solvency...



...smoke and mirrors...


...shifting sands...


...moving goal posts...


...it's economics jim!..

...but not as we knew it...






Thursday 30 July 2009

EARLY WARNING

yo...?


Palooka毕业财务
投降日313


...here in...


...palookagrad...


...all eyes are on...


...中国...






petey : hope the translation is ok...used a mac widget...innit...!


Wednesday 22 July 2009

THE BULLISH EMPIRE

yo!...tip of the iceberg...innit!


PALOOKAGRAD FINANCIAL
capitulation day
+305


...don't worry...


...be happy...



STATE OF PLAY


...the world economy has collapsed...


...world trade has disappeared...


...a deflationary spiral has taken hold...


...debt has replaced credit...


...politicians are in disgrace...


...not yet because they caused this disaster...


...but because many have been found to be fiddling their expenses...


...that they have increased their own salaries and pensions...


...whilst making us all...


...much poorer...



NOBODY KNOWS WHAT WE'VE DONE


...here in...


...palookagrad...


...we are so busy watching all the dreary sh*t...


...on state tv...


...that we are blissfully unaware...


...that we are bust...


...the politix are in hock to the banks...


...and have been made to bail them out...


...at our expense...



ALL TOMORROW'S PENSIONS


...the only money coming in to pay for all the public sector salaries and pensions...


...is being borrowed...


...when the suckers...


...figure this out...


...we will be in big trouble...


...for now...


...party on dudes...






Friday 10 July 2009

PASSPORT TO PALOOKAVILLE

yo!...suckers...innit!


PALOOKAGRAD FINANCIAL
capitulation day
+293


...nobody here in...


...palookagrad...


...gives a f**k...


...about the new price of a passport...


DEFLATION DEFEATED


...certainly not the commissars at the BBC...


...whose pay is so high that they cannot ever spend it all...


...not the politicians who are rolling in expenses and have vast earnings...


...from their clients in the lobbies...


...at £77 per adult...


...nobody here is going anyhere...


THE PALOOKAGRAD WALL


...the crisis in government caused by their inability...


...to fund the new wall to keep in all the proles...


...has been averted...


...we have a tape of the cabinet in the politbureau...


brown : we have to stop people traveling...


dark brown : the b*stards think that the world is their oyster...


light brown : we have increased the tax on petrol and diesel...


mc brown : we have taxed air travel...


golden brown : we have increased the cost of a passport by 4-500%...


bust brown : the f**kers won't catch the bus...


incapability brown : they'll catch the f**kin flu though...


new brown : we should tax bikes...


old brown : I'm onnit boss...


chairman brown : we will stop the b*stards saving if it's the last thing we do!!...


petey : pitiful...innit!