Thursday 11 September 2008

HOW THE WEST WAS LOST

SSSSSHHHHHHHH....sotto voce man innit! big secret day. don let a wurld catch yo cryin.....

pickardthepumkin : don tell no one, don tell noboddy... we all jus bin onna nuvva 'ship.....all a sudden they woz a pingin and we was beamed up.....

Enter... The Klangon

wort : how do you do chaps? my colleagues and I would like to welcome you aboard the klangon warbird SSSHITKIKKER.

pickardy : say wot? wassorta shit is dis? ah don unnerstan a woyd e sayin man!

'cat : it a alien tong boss! yo gotta toyn on a intastella translata.

pickerty : dang blasted nebla! F**kin disrupted me name tag anna translata pingin an all....WHACK!...

wort : we brung yo cross space an outa the sh*t fo a moments o calm and reflection...to see ifn yo can git a handle on wots goin down wi da nebla anna deleveragin black ole...

picardicity : that berrer!.. ah kin git yo gist nah, man..

wort : us klangons usta be on two diffrent shows! we wus mindin us own bizniss wen long comma swizz bank an 'celerated us moneh inna HARDON machine... dough goin rahn fasta an fasta ...collidin inta BIG BANGS an stuff. noboddy new were they woz or who they woz no mo...
...ONE MINUTE I WAS A LITTLE PINK NITTED DUDE onna blue planet...an a next i woz iss ugly, fierce guy wi a deep tan, anna back- bone onna fore hed.

spider : itta SWIZZ innit!

'cat : so yo think yo kin help us outa they shit wot weez in?

wort : ah commin ta it man..don rush me...

pickardthetuffguy : wotta ya got sucker..tork fast or sling it man..we got stuff ta do an we outa here...

wort : sheesh enuff already..we gotta message fo ya from admiral ROUBINI of dorkfleet...

spider : itta PAUL..he got it on screen


zooneh : wow that admiral roubini he CAPPIN O DA SHIP man! po ole jim he look IN SHOCK.

pickardthe painter : so wot e sayin en? sahn lak im say we F**KED man...NEW WURL ODOUR innit! alla movies inna forrin tong anna merican gel wot wants ta be inna movies gotta wear fruit baskit onner ed.

beulah : say wot? no freakin way man! I aint gonna wear no baskit o fruit onna ed....

zooneh : alla movies gon be breakin inta song n dance ever few minnits. curvey soyds an saris instedda good ole guns an sex an stuff.....

opkin : y'all shudda stayed in bed man. yo nebla gon kick yo ass inta a future where yo gon be in debt ta all yo enemies an they gon laff they bollocks off at yo....yo banks is bust cos they 'cellerated they dollas inta evva smaller particles an mixed em up inna alphabet soup o sh*t....they spread em aroun a wurl an foul up a whole shootin match.....

to be continued....







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