NEVER MIND THE HYPER BOWL

yo!.. this sporting life... innit!

we're missing our sports..

here in palookaville..

the virus has postponed..

a normal sporting life..

all we have left are..

THE VIRUS GAMES

the season won't end until..

THE HYPER BOWL

you know..

when the bull shit gets so loud..

and so thick..

that even poor teams can win..

NOT FIT TO PLAY

the trouble with these games..

THE CURRENT WORLD SERIES

is that there is no..

level playing field..

for some it is an unequal..

virus load..

some o the virus strain..

is nastier than others..

who gets what is just..

the luck of the draw..

then again..

some o the teams ain't fit..

some of the coaches are crap..

team leaders fail to get the playbook right..

some fail to understand the rules..

but mostly..

the players are past their prime..

or the wrong color..

or too fat..

or just plain knackered..

how can you win these games?

if you start off on the wrong foot..

MONEY ON THE SIDELINES

all bets are off..

the spectators..

are in the bar..

or in the pavillion..

having afternoon tea..

the oil that normally..

lubricates the sport..

has gone down the lavatory..

they can't get..

the big palooka..

off the tele..

they just can't shut him up..

the crowd are gettin restless..

they want the ref. ta shut him up..

or send him off..

time penalties apply..

THE SEARCH IS ON

for the persons who started these games..

the crowd are baying for blood..

but they fail to see..

it was the airplanes wot done it..

yes the virus is a..

nasty little fucker..

but he cain't fly..

without help from above..

WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES

and on what streets do they live..

MEANWHILE

the crowd begins to sing..

a range of traditional..

sportin songs..

the hyper bowl..

would not be the national fixture..

that it is..

without the crowd singalong..

sing a song of sixpence..

a catcher in awry..

four an twenty animals..

baked inna pie..

when a pie was opened..

a virus begin ta sing..

oh what a dainty dish..

ta put before a king..

OH DEAR

oh dear what canna matter be?

the price of oil..

has gone down a lavatory..

we've all gone short..

til after next saturday..

THRILLS AND SPILLS

the score board is signaling..

the end of the first quarter..

the yankees are takin a beating..

but remain in good heart..

the problem for the suits..

is what happens..

once the african and indian games get rolling..

the numbers could be off the charts..

then there is the catering..

the contracts for the food concessions..

have failed to sell..

and now it ain't just the players..

but the crowd also..

that gets ta go hungry..

ONE FOR THE RECORD BOOKS

it looks like we..

goin down ta a wire..

an extra time will..

need ta be played..

the arguing, gouging an shirt pullin..

will go on an on..

A HOLE IN ONE

yo!... whose ya caddy?... innit

it's the time o the season...

here in palookaville..

the big palooka is handicapped...

he has hit a hole in one...

time ta stop diggin...

I SEE NO VIRUS

admiral trump regrets...

sayin all that stuff...

about a pandemic that would not happen...

 he has lead his team out onto the ball park...

without the proper kit...

he plans to keep the game short an sweet...

all ovva by yesterday...

cheap at half the price...

make palookaville great again...

UNFAIR FAIRWAY

we woz robbed...

rubes cheated innit...

wuhan flue...

trade war games...

NOT OUR FAULT

we inherited this virus from the chinese

we are well prepared...

palookas don't catch flu...

it's the economy stupid...

we weren't meant ta close...

democracy will win in the end...

NOBODY DARE LOOK

the scoreboard is obscene...

but the numbers increase exponentially...

ball is inna long grass...

the clubs need a bailout...

THE WRONG KIND OF BAT

can't even reach first base...

balls dropped...

catchers caught...

If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them.

IT GETS LATE EARLY OUT HERE

we got enough bullets...

we got the tanks we need...

best soldiers inna wurl...

we have the best golf courses...

the biggest malls...

little fucker snook in...

unner a radar... innit! 

SOONER OR LATER

we will beat this thing...

thats fo sure...

once we get goin we really get goin...

How can you think and hit at the same time?

it's just that...

we ain't got goin yet

THE VIRUS GAME RULES

yo!... america first innit... !

in palookaville today...

there are shortages...

masks, ventilators, protective gowns, brains, integrity...

LATE TO THE GAMES

those who came late to the games...

have started without the kit...

it's vital that those...

who play the game...

have the right protection...

but also that all teams...

FOLLOW THE RULES

the virus game rules...

are there for your protection...

for fair play and player safety...

if the players foul...

the crowd may...

invade the pitch...

and that could mean...

relegation...

trade penalties...

banned from meetings...

egg on faces

UNGENTLEMANLY CONDUCT

rumour has it that...

palookaville's great policeman...

has usurped german police masks...

out bidding, out gouging, tripping and shoving...

are not within the virus game rules...

CHEATERS DON'T WIN

already late to the game...

and without the correct kit...

the world's policeman...

is playing catch up...

with somebody else's masks.. 

VENTILATORS NEXT?

once this kind of behaviour starts...

the games will go down hill...

soon it will be every man for herself...

mob rule, failing states, banarama...

THERE ARE NO VIRUS GAME RULES 

The name "The Virus Game Rules" refers to...

 the list of rules that the migrant workers...

 are supposed to follow at palookaville stadium...

 however, none of them can read, and they are completely unaware of the rules...

When Homer reads them the rules of the virus games...

  that have been posted...

 the workers observe that the rules have been made without their consent...

 by people who do not live there...

  and so do not face their problems...

 Consequently, they feel that they can ignore these rules.

RULES ARE FOR THE LITTLE PEOPLE 

yo!... fuck you... innit? 

HAVE VIRUS WILL TRAVEL

yo!... only game in town... innit!

the sun shines down on palookaville...

an a folks like ta go outside...

maybe some lak ta visit a seaside...

even though a shops is shut...

amusements on hold...

cafes closed...

beach closed...

GO THE SOCIAL DISTANCE

don't go the extra mile...

THE VIRUS GAME

is the only game in town...

all other games are off...

it's games over for football...

games over fo olympics...

games over fo basketball, baseball,

what evva

GREAT WALL OF CHINA

the chinese are favourite to win a games...

well they invented them...

they were first up to bat...

and by all accounts...

played a blinder...

knocked a virus fo six innit...

some say the didn't play the game...

not with a straight bat...

only they can telll

anyway...

the great wall was breached anna virus...

flew around the world...

kicking off the world series...

TRAINS AN BOATS AN PLANES

now every country playing by it's own rules...

no referee...

china takes an early bath...

retired but not out...

the crowd is restless...

and will not stay...

off the park...

until ground rules are fully agreed...

the mob will rule... 

THRONE OF GAMES

who will be the winning team?

it looks like taiwan...

"Taiwan rapidly produced and implemented a list of at least 124 action items in the past five weeks to protect public health," report co-author Jason Wang, a Taiwanese doctor and associate professor of pediatrics at Stanford Medicine, said in a statement. 

"The policies and actions go beyond border control because they recognized that that wasn't enough."

This was while other countries were still debating whether to take action. 

In a study conducted in January, Johns Hopkins University said Taiwan was one of the most at-risk areas outside of mainland China -- owing to its close proximity, ties and transport links.

Among those early decisive measures was the decision to ban travel from many parts of China, stop cruise ships docking at the island's ports, and introduce strict punishments for anyone found breaching home quarantine orders.- from cnn

but germany will probably snatch it...

in extra time...

WHAT COMES AROUND

the games are played every several years..

they are not always kicked off in china...

the last really big games was 100 years ago...

and was kicked off in the USA

though for some reason...

they were called the

spanish games...

I SEE NO SHIPS

winners an losers..

but mostly losers...

it's airplanes nil...

cruise lines nil...

navy ships nil...

travel is the biggest losing team

TOURISTS FUCK OFF

go home palookas...

you are not wanted here...

virus invisiblity...

tarnishes all travellers... 

traveling is public enemy number one...

we cannot even agree on how to spell it!

THE VIRUS GAMES : UPDATE

yo!... game set an match... innit!

here in palookaville...

the virus games outplays...

all other sports...

WIMBLEDON BEATEN

the whole tennis lawn...

has to be re-seeded...

virus knocks balls...

right outta a court


NEW UNIFORM DESIGN


due ta the transmission worldwide...

demand for kit has rocketed...

teams are out of kit...

no masks, no visors, no gowns...

some say we need a new design...

some a new colour...

some say a new shield...

whatevva...

get it done...

as long as we ate safe at home...

watchin onna bleaches tv...

 y'all play nicely nah

 DON'T TEST, DON'T TELL 

it ain't cricket...

bowlin googlies...

right dahn a bodyline...

test match is history...

each country got it's own test...

but do they work?...

nothing is working...

on one is working...

STADIUM AWAY

footballers gotta givva wages back...

teams relegated to social distance...

managers sacked...

empty stadium...

balls go missing

TELEVISION RIGHTS SOLD OUT

ball's in their court...

they only broadcast...

the virus games...

24/7 live coverage...

follow a numbers...

keep a score...

CANCELLATION  CANCELLATION  CANCELLATION

evva one tunin in...

the big palooka...

fills the screen...

for hours each day...

he got his team...

standin behind him...

they all on side...

he got em trained...

he got em drilled...

all we want ta know...

WHAT'S THE FINAL SCORE?

THE VIRUS GAMES

yo!... pandemic pandemonium... innit!

in palookaville every several years...

we have the virus games...

people are crammed into tiny homes...

in huge blocks of flats (condos)

with livestock an stuff...

jus ta see who gets bit a most...

some years only minor games are played...

GAMES DIFFERENT THIS TIME

turns out...

some bat bit some snake...

snake vomits on dog...

chickens come home to roost...

anna shit hitta fan...

folks run fo they airport...

just to spread a word...

folks get bit all ovva a wurl...

governments play down games and deny...

testing is banned from substance...

PARTY ON

aboard the titanic...

evva body drinkin an laughphin...

huge crowds inna stadiums...

virus get good an spread...

folks get good an dead

THRONE OF GAMES

the big palookas...

weigh in...

keep on truckin folks...

party on lak they no tomorra...

DON'T TEST, DON'T TELL

blindfolds are handed out...

so no one can see the truth...

observers are shouted down...

statistics finessed...

BARE KNUCKLE FIGHTS

medical heros are forced...

to fight bare handed...

masks are not allowed...

visors and shields...

down

WINNERS ONLINE

a record is kept...

winning teams identified...

argument starts...

some say the winner is the state...

with the highest number of cases...

and the most media coverage...

some say it's the state...

 with the most recovered...

some say...

 it's the deaths stupid!

AND THE WINNER IS

the state with the lowest number of...

deaths per million of population...

lowest nuber of deaths period...

fewest cases ever!

GAMES OVER

the virus games go on an on...

far into the night...

but

it's games over fo airlines...

it's games over fo olympics...

games over fo football...

games over...

all over

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SETS

normal service will be resumed... 

do not call us...

we'll say when

CORONAGATE

yo!.. carry on cruisin... not...

CRUSIN FO A BRUSIN

evva one here in palookaville is laffin...

no symtoms - no test...

so no virus here...

FINE SO FAR

government plan fo don't test - don't tell...

is working great...

we have had a coupla months to prepare whilst evva one else got sick...

 now we evva thang we need ...

maybe not enuff ventilators..

or masks..

or hospital beds...

but apart from that...

every one has enjoyed the play...

SOCKS AN BONDS

socks pull back up...

evva one party lak it's 2008...

OLYMPIC GAME

all bets are off...

games over for sports...

games over for travellers...

games over for events...

games over for airlines...

BOEING BOEING BONG

cash all spent on proppin uppa share price...

737 maxed out...

this plane won't fly...

cruises won't float...

buyers won't buy...

but shoppers will shop...

til they drop...

in palookaville people sing

three wheels on ma wagon...

we still rollin along...

 a higgity, haggity, hoggety, high

watch them virus...

go galloping by...