EX BORIS

 yo!.. load of old Boris innit!

here in palookaville..

the sheets have hit the fan..

boris scofield has walked out of parliament..

boris johnson has walked out on the dogs breakfast..

boris trump has walked out on democracy..

TIE ME KANGAROO COURT SPORT

tired of accusations of lack of new material..

they have decided to jump ship..

the public are devastated..

shocked and awed..

but mostly confused..

PEAK BORIS

is now a long time ago..

and holly wood..

and all the gang..

are crying shame..

AFTER THIS EPISODE OF SOAP

you will be confused..

and confounded..

but mostly bored..

the lines between entertainment..

and politics..

have blurred and morphed..

some say it is the new androids..

who will not stop chatting..

and making things up..

out of old cliches..

and blonde wigs..

WIGS ON THE GREEN

that's what we have..

here in palookaville..

home of the happy viewers..

THESE BORIS ARE MADE FOR WALKING

when the going gets tough..

the tough get going..

GOING GOING BUT NOT YET GONE

we must hope to lock the door..

and keep them out..

for they never mean to leave for good..

unless we hold them to account..

keep them at bay..

THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT

HANCOCK'S HALF HOUR

THE CELEBRITY PARTY

yo!.. get them outta there.. innit!

here in palookaville..

the famous boring party..

has at last found a way..

to be relevant..

AND POPULAR

the hero of the plague..

has found a job..

as as a tv celeb..

at first..

 the sad people..

took agin him..

and sent him packing..

U TURN IF YOU WANT TO

but now as we all knew would happen..

he is become interesting..

as in interesting times..

through him the party has discovered..

the way ahead..

THE DAVY CROCKET HAT

or ..

IF YOU DON'T HAVE A QUIFF GET A HAT

learning from boris trump..

and davy crocket of course..

the party has decided that celebrity..

is the only way to win..

and that..

by looking daft and playing the fool..

popularity..

and therefore success..

will be assured..

WHO HAS THE BLONDEST QUIFF ?

that is the question..

because..

the bigger, the blonder..

the louder and dafter..

gets you the votes..

as well as the laughter..

FOOT IN MOUTH VIRUS

yo!.. week a long time... innit!

in palookaville..

a great plague has come upon the land..

while all the folks are..

standin around waitin..

for herd immunity..

it strikes at the very heart..

of politics..

and national debate..

the two ronnies..

tweedle dee an tweedle dum..

have been struck down..

by a heavy virus load..

although now..

back in a saddle..

both hands look..

an sound..

much the worse for wear..

apart from misspeaking..

other symptoms include..

making poor decision..

appointing the wrong people..

includig but not onl..

the keystone cops..

and the tree stooges..

to create a test fo the bug..

an to..

make palookaville great again..

THE LONG GOODBYE

standing in front of the cameras ..

for the endless boring briefings..

you can see just by looking at their hair..

that they are not yet well enough..

to be in charge..

of the..

SHIP OF STATE

captains.. 

donald johnson and boris trump..

are having a bad hair day..

and saying the dumbest things..

while one quiffe wants to..

wash his hands of the whole virus thing..

the other quiffe wants to..

INJECT AND DISINFECT

the whole country..

although national panic has..

been avoided..

just in time..

as the media reported that..

it was the virus..

FOOT IN MOUTH

that was to blame..

it was all combed over..

with a promise of..

no more excruciatingly long briefings..

during which hardened political journos..

had either been found wanting..

or nearly laughing their heads off..

DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD

boris trump and donald johnson..

have been criticized for being..

ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL

after nodding off in..

cobra meetings..

and not washing their hands properly..

when asked a direct question..

"when will there be masks"

they replied in unison..

and with one voice..

simultaniously..

together..

they promised..

help was on it's way..

but was very heavy

and had to come..

all the way from china..

in the mean time..

we should all sing along..

SIXTEEN TONS AND WHAT DO YOU GET

another day older..

an deeper in debt..

Tennessee Ernie Ford

Some people say a man is made outta mud
A poor man's made outta muscle and blood
Muscle and blood and skin and bones..

A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong
You load sixteen tons, what do you get..

Another day older and deeper in debt

Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store

I was born one mornin' when the sun didn't shine
I picked up my shovel and I walked to the mine..

I loaded sixteen tons of number nine coal
And the straw boss said "Well, a-bless my soul"

You load sixteen tons, what do you get?

Another day older and deeper in debt..

Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go..
I owe my soul to the company store...

If you see me comin', better step aside
A lotta men didn't, a lotta men died..

One fist of iron, the other of steel
If the right one don't a-get you
Then the left one will..

You load sixteen tons, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store

meanwhile back at the

PHILLY BLUSTER

probably to be continued..

this could go on an on

see also..

mad cow disease

swine fever

animal farm

WHAT A PLAYER

yo! ... from hero ta zero ...innit!

here in palookaville..

our leader is sick..

he is recovering nicely..

we hope..

from rona's kiss..

we even quite like the guy..

he still sick though..

SICK AS A PARROT

wtf..

did he not just win..

a huge election victory?

a tory hero..

national hero..

the king of all brexit..

IN THE DRIVING SEAT

with co driver..

dominic cummings..

together they will..

get brexit done!

so much to do..

so little time..

then along come a spider..

THE VIRUS GAMES

oh dear..

what can the matter be..

we were planning..

monday through saturday..

two old ladies..

die in a lavatory..

Oh, dear! What can the matter be?
boris so slow at the games..

He promised to buy me a mask to protect me..
And then for a smile oh, he vowed he would please me..

He promised to bring me a visor and gown..
To tie up my bonny brown hair..

Oh, dear! What can the matter be?

boris so slow at the games..

He promised to buy me a basket of ventilators
A garland of laurels, a gift of immunity

A little straw hat to set off the cameras
And tie up my bonny brown hair..

Oh, dear! What can the matter be?
Dear, dear! What can the matter be?

Oh, dear! What can the matter be?
boris so slow at the games..

boris is sick..

because he took his..

eye off the ball..

in a very fast moving..

virus game..

he cudda been a contender..

but now..

he is sick of the sound..

of chickens coming home to roost..

sick of the virus games..

he is thinking of steve mcqueen..

in the movie..

the sand pebbles..

 

I was home. 

What happened? 

What the hell happened?