EX BORIS

 yo!.. load of old Boris innit!

here in palookaville..

the sheets have hit the fan..

boris scofield has walked out of parliament..

boris johnson has walked out on the dogs breakfast..

boris trump has walked out on democracy..

TIE ME KANGAROO COURT SPORT

tired of accusations of lack of new material..

they have decided to jump ship..

the public are devastated..

shocked and awed..

but mostly confused..

PEAK BORIS

is now a long time ago..

and holly wood..

and all the gang..

are crying shame..

AFTER THIS EPISODE OF SOAP

you will be confused..

and confounded..

but mostly bored..

the lines between entertainment..

and politics..

have blurred and morphed..

some say it is the new androids..

who will not stop chatting..

and making things up..

out of old cliches..

and blonde wigs..

WIGS ON THE GREEN

that's what we have..

here in palookaville..

home of the happy viewers..

THESE BORIS ARE MADE FOR WALKING

when the going gets tough..

the tough get going..

GOING GOING BUT NOT YET GONE

we must hope to lock the door..

and keep them out..

for they never mean to leave for good..

unless we hold them to account..

keep them at bay..

THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT

HANCOCK'S HALF HOUR

THE CELEBRITY PARTY

yo!.. get them outta there.. innit!

here in palookaville..

the famous boring party..

has at last found a way..

to be relevant..

AND POPULAR

the hero of the plague..

has found a job..

as as a tv celeb..

at first..

 the sad people..

took agin him..

and sent him packing..

U TURN IF YOU WANT TO

but now as we all knew would happen..

he is become interesting..

as in interesting times..

through him the party has discovered..

the way ahead..

THE DAVY CROCKET HAT

or ..

IF YOU DON'T HAVE A QUIFF GET A HAT

learning from boris trump..

and davy crocket of course..

the party has decided that celebrity..

is the only way to win..

and that..

by looking daft and playing the fool..

popularity..

and therefore success..

will be assured..

WHO HAS THE BLONDEST QUIFF ?

that is the question..

because..

the bigger, the blonder..

the louder and dafter..

gets you the votes..

as well as the laughter..

THE OLYMPICS IN REVERSE

yo!.. gamin the games... innit!


in palookaville..

we take our games..

seriously..


THE VIRUS GAMES


so in the olympic games..

we were used to seeing the..

americans win big time..

gold..

the usa was always on the podium..

old glory..

up there with the winners..


HEY RUBE


what the hell happened?

in the virus games..

it's america last..

days of old glory past..

people have started talking..

people started walking..


DROPPING THE BALL


who is to blame?

you may well ask..

is it the players?

is it the team..

the crowd don't like it..

and they bayin fo blood..


BAD NEWS PLAYBOOK


in plaookaville..

we blame the coach..

he tor up the rule book..

would not wear the kit..

overruled the ref..

never had a playbook..

never had a clue..

in denial..

head in the sand..

leadership never sailed..


HIDING IN THE DUGOUT


now he is lost..

the crowd look on..

in disbelief..

as he digs his self..

the deepest hole..


AMERICA IN EXTRA TIME


the american team..

is havin ta play extra time..

they have failed to score..

it's neck and neck..

backs ta the wall..

hail mary..

an pass out the masks..

the bar has re-closed..

the fat lady banned from singin..

the band plays not..

flags at half mast..

where will it all end..

when will it all end?



CASINO ROYALLY FUCKED


in the casino..

the gamblers..

place their bets..

so far it's all good..

free money for all..

what's not ta like..


THE ONLY GAMES IN TOWN


they know it's rigged..

but what can they do?

if they want to play..

it's the only game in town..

don't bet against the house..

the house will always win..

what are the odds..


COMING UP


trump returned to the white house..

nasdac takes off..

737 max stays in the air..

GRAB THE GAMES BY THE TROPHY

yo!.. going for gold... innit!

in palookaville..

the virus games.. 

are going well..

some of the coaches..

are getting over exited..

Trump says US topping world virus cases is 'badge of honour'

 

The US has 1.5 million coronavirus cases and nearly 92,000 deaths, 

according to Johns Hopkins University.

In second place is Russia..

with nearly 300,000 confirmed cases.

 

COMING UP

what do we get if we win?

re-start the hyper bole..

the man in the white house mask..

FOOT IN MOUTH VIRUS

yo!.. week a long time... innit!

in palookaville..

a great plague has come upon the land..

while all the folks are..

standin around waitin..

for herd immunity..

it strikes at the very heart..

of politics..

and national debate..

the two ronnies..

tweedle dee an tweedle dum..

have been struck down..

by a heavy virus load..

although now..

back in a saddle..

both hands look..

an sound..

much the worse for wear..

apart from misspeaking..

other symptoms include..

making poor decision..

appointing the wrong people..

includig but not onl..

the keystone cops..

and the tree stooges..

to create a test fo the bug..

an to..

make palookaville great again..

THE LONG GOODBYE

standing in front of the cameras ..

for the endless boring briefings..

you can see just by looking at their hair..

that they are not yet well enough..

to be in charge..

of the..

SHIP OF STATE

captains.. 

donald johnson and boris trump..

are having a bad hair day..

and saying the dumbest things..

while one quiffe wants to..

wash his hands of the whole virus thing..

the other quiffe wants to..

INJECT AND DISINFECT

the whole country..

although national panic has..

been avoided..

just in time..

as the media reported that..

it was the virus..

FOOT IN MOUTH

that was to blame..

it was all combed over..

with a promise of..

no more excruciatingly long briefings..

during which hardened political journos..

had either been found wanting..

or nearly laughing their heads off..

DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD

boris trump and donald johnson..

have been criticized for being..

ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL

after nodding off in..

cobra meetings..

and not washing their hands properly..

when asked a direct question..

"when will there be masks"

they replied in unison..

and with one voice..

simultaniously..

together..

they promised..

help was on it's way..

but was very heavy

and had to come..

all the way from china..

in the mean time..

we should all sing along..

SIXTEEN TONS AND WHAT DO YOU GET

another day older..

an deeper in debt..

Tennessee Ernie Ford

Some people say a man is made outta mud
A poor man's made outta muscle and blood
Muscle and blood and skin and bones..

A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong
You load sixteen tons, what do you get..

Another day older and deeper in debt

Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store

I was born one mornin' when the sun didn't shine
I picked up my shovel and I walked to the mine..

I loaded sixteen tons of number nine coal
And the straw boss said "Well, a-bless my soul"

You load sixteen tons, what do you get?

Another day older and deeper in debt..

Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go..
I owe my soul to the company store...

If you see me comin', better step aside
A lotta men didn't, a lotta men died..

One fist of iron, the other of steel
If the right one don't a-get you
Then the left one will..

You load sixteen tons, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store

meanwhile back at the

PHILLY BLUSTER

probably to be continued..

this could go on an on

see also..

mad cow disease

swine fever

animal farm

VOICES OFF

yo!... party off dude...innit!


from the www..


 How China dropped the ball on Covid-19

Sechel

In the six days after top Chinese officials secretly determined they likely were facing a pandemic from a new coronavirus, the city of Wuhan at the epicenter of the disease hosted a mass banquet for tens of thousands of people; millions began traveling through for Lunar New Year celebrations.

President Xi Jinping warned the public on the seventh day, Jan. 20.
But by that time, more than 3,000 people had been infected during almost a week of public silence, according to internal documents obtained by The Associated Press and expert estimates based on retrospective infection data.

But the six-day delay by China’s leaders in Beijing came on top of almost two weeks during which the national Center for Disease Control did not register any cases from local officials, internal bulletins obtained by the AP confirm.
Yet during that time, from Jan. 5 to Jan. 17, hundreds of patients were appearing in hospitals..

 not just in Wuhan..

but across the country.

Sechel

Republicans are ratcheting up efforts to paint China as the villain in the coronavirus pandemic, seeking to shift blame as President Donald Trump faces increased criticism of his handling of a crisis that has shuttered the U.S. economy.

DON'T JUST STAND THERE



 He Could Have Seen What Was Coming: Behind Trump’s Failure on the Virus

“Is this true?!” 

Dr. Kadlec wrote back to the researcher..

  “If so we have a huge hole on our screening and quarantine effort,”..

Her response was blunt: 

“People are carrying the virus everywhere.”

The following day, Dr. Kadlec and the others decided to present Mr. Trump with a plan titled “Four Steps to Mitigation,” telling the president that they needed to begin preparing Americans for a step rarely taken in United States history.

But over the next several days..

a presidential blowup and internal turf fights would sidetrack such a move..

The focus would shift to messaging and confident predictions of success..

rather than publicly calling..

for a shift to mitigation.

These final days of February..

perhaps more than any other moment during his tenure in the White House..

illustrated Mr. Trump’s inability or unwillingness..

to absorb warnings coming at him. 

He instead reverted to his traditional political playbook..

in the midst of a public health calamity..

squandering vital time as the coronavirus..

 spread silently across the country.

Sechel

“Despite Mr. Trump’s denial weeks later, he was told at the time about a Jan. 29 memo produced by his trade adviser, Peter Navarro, laying out in striking detail the potential risks of a coronavirus pandemic: as many as half a million deaths and trillions of dollars in economic losses.”

  Mortality rates in hospitalized patients

njbr

The average age of a patient hospitalized with covid-19, the company said, is 59.6 years old. Mortality rises sharply with age: It is just 1 percent for hospitalized patients under the age of 20, 4 percent for ages 20 to 44, 9 percent for 45 to 54, 13 percent for 55 to 64, 23 percent for 65 to 74, 31 percent for 75 to 84, and 40 percent for 85 and up.

AMERICAN BY DAY

yo!... didn't he ramble... innit! 

on palookaville tv.. 

every night for hours an hours on end...

The cold political calculation behind Donald Trump's WHO funding suspension 

The international body provides US president with a handy scapegoat as election approaches..

ventilators mentioned 325 times..

what! no lemon curry?

Massachusetts Recruits 1,000 ‘Contact Tracers’ To Battle COVID-19

Posted on April 15, 2020 by Yves Smith

Yves here.

As the article points out..

this Massachusetts effort comes what is probably..

too late for this first wave of the infection..

But it may still prove valuable..

Some fear Covid-19 comes back after lockdowns are relaxed..

 or next fall because contracting the disease does not confer much immunity..

so having worked out some of the bugs in contact tracing would be useful..

But it is an open question as to whether this effort is well enough manned..

And there are also concerns..

about whether there are enough resources committed to..

 administering and processing tests.

NORWEGIAN BY NIGHT

troubled airline norwegian was on the brink last night..

 as its pilots were warned there was no money to pay them..

 or make them redundant.

TRAINS AN BOATS AN PLANES

you don't know what you've got..

til it's gone

BLACK HOLE ECONOMICS

yo!... star trekkin... innit!

the uss enterprise...

the palookaville starship...

is in a black hole...

IT'S ONLY THE NEBULA STUPID

admiral donald t kirk...

has hit the hole in one...

can the FEDS...

save the day?

THE GOLD STANDARD

admiral nixon...

has taken all the gold on board...

the uss fort knox...

whilst admiral brown...

has swapped our gold...

for paper euros

KLINGONS ONNA STARBOARD BOW

since the trade wars...

the klingons are calling names...

and won't share sweets...

admiral donald t kirk...

has ordered PPE...

it's on order..

but..

is it here?

STAND OFF IN PALOOKAVILLE

lost in space...

and with nothing to do...

the crew are getting restless...

voices are calling for a range of options...

re-start the economy...

print more money...

give the crew a rise...

the crew just want a holiday...

whilst the admiral just...

wants to play golf...

THE HOSPITAL SHIP

uss new york...

is under attack from the virus...

captain cuomo...

has called for a federation effort...

an all out attack...

led by admiral donald t kirk...

and paid for..

by printing dollars

 unfortunately...

the hospital ship is sinking...

from the weight...

of unemployed crew..

taking up space...

PAPER WINGS

it's worse than that...

they're dead don...

"where the hell's the vaccine"... 

"light years away"...

TAKE BACK CONTROL

the virus can not be controlled...

so we must control the crew...

no holidays and no sick pay...

no jobs...

an only paper money

THE WAY TO THE SARS

out here in space...

there should be room for all of us..

to distance ourselves from...

our mistakes...

but

THIS SPACE AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US

whether you believe...

in sound money...

the gold standard...

or just like to print...

navigating in space is difficult...

it's bad enough...

having to steer a course...

around all the bastards...

out here...

without this deadly virus...

We made too many wrong mistakes.

and...

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. 

and...

Slump? I ain’t in no slump… 

I just ain’t hitting.

COMPUTERS AIN'T WHAT THEY USED TA BE

HAL 9000

 I've just picked up a fault in the AE35 unit...

It's going to go 100% failure in 72 hours

I am putting myself to the fullest possible use...

which is all I think that any conscious entity...

can ever hope to do

 HAL 9000

I'm afraid...

Dave Bowman..

Don't be. We'll be together...

HAL 9000..

Where will we be?

Dave Bowman..

Where I am now 

DON'T TEST DON'T TELL 

You’ve got to be very careful...

if you don’t know where you are going because...

you might not get there.

EVERY BODY KNOWS THIS IS NOWHERE

admiral..

donald t kirk..

of the starship..

enterprise..

is stuck in a hole in space

he didn't aim to get there..

he just wasn't listening to his officers..

now his face is..

on screen..

all day..

every day..

talking to keep his..

spirits up..

waiting for the vaccine.. 

to arrive..

thru..

the wormhole..

at..

warp speed!

so

PAPER MONEY VERSUS GOLD

unemployment goin thru a roof..

no more enterprise..

big bazookas firin evva more paper..

DIVIDED WE FALL

jus when a wurl..

needa helpin hand..

political parties..

are divided

it's probably nothing really..

just about who gets the pork..

and the bailouts..

COMING NEXT 

can uss enterprise print it's way out of this black hole?

will klingons come to the table?

what will gold do?

how many will die..

from the virus..

when will there be a vaccine..

will anyone evva fly again..

will we carry on cruising..

will the world ever be the same again..

whose to blame?

what are the real numbers?

who profits?

where is the all this money going?

A LAST WORD FROM HAL

Are you sure you're making the right decision? 

I think we should stop.

 

 

WE WERE ONLY GOLFING

 yo! ... It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing...innit!

in palookaville today...

a big palooka hisself...

look a shoo in fo re-election...

(Doo wah, doo wah, doo wah, doo wah)  

 THE HOLE IN ONE

snatchin defeat from a jawsa victory...

attempt ta win a virus games...

the white house playbook...

is hidden behind the sofa...

a sign on the door ta the...

oval office says...

gone golfin...


PAR FOR THE COURSE

Intelligence community issued warning on coronavirus in November - report

US intelligence officials were warning of a virus sweeping through the Wuhan region of China as early as November, according to an ABC News report.

ABC News reports:

Concerns about what is now known to be the novel coronavirus pandemic were detailed in a November intelligence report by the military’s National Center for Medical Intelligence (NCMI), according to two officials familiar with the document’s contents.
The report was the result of analysis of wire and computer intercepts, coupled with satellite images.

It raised alarms because an out-of-control disease would pose a serious threat to U.S. forces in Asia -- forces that depend on the NCMI’s work. And it paints a picture of an American government that could have ramped up mitigation and containment efforts far earlier to prepare for a crisis poised to come home.

‘Analysts concluded it could be a cataclysmic event,’ one of the sources said of the NCMI’s report. ‘It was then briefed multiple times to’ the Defense Intelligence Agency, the Pentagon’s Joint Staff and the White House.

This news follows reports that Trump’s top trade adviser, Peter Navarro, wrote memos starting in late January warning of a potential coronavirus pandemic with catastrophic consequences for Americans’ health and finances.

The president claimed yesterday that he had never seen Navarro’s memos, but their existence undermines his defense of the federal government’s early response to the pandemic, which has been widely criticized.

The missing six weeks: how Trump failed the biggest test of his life

 Donald Trump was warned at the end of January by one of his top White House advisers that coronavirus had the potential to kill hundreds of thousands of Americans and derail the US economy, unless tough action were taken immediately, new memos have revealed.

Those missing four to six weeks are likely to go down in the definitive history as a cautionary tale of the potentially devastating consequences of failed political leadership. 

“The US response will be studied for generations as a textbook example of a disastrous, failed effort,” Ron Klain, who spearheaded the fight against Ebola in 2014, told a Georgetown university panel recently. “What’s happened in Washington has been a fiasco of incredible proportions.”

NEVER GIVE UP ON A WINNING TICKET

“Once we OPEN UP OUR GREAT COUNTRY, and it will be sooner rather than later, the horror of the Invisible Enemy, except for those that sadly lost a family member or friend, must be quickly forgotten,” Trump wrote in a tweet. “Our Economy will BOOM, perhaps like never before!!!”

The president also once again bragged about viewership of his daily White House briefings on the coronavirus response, saying “the ratings are through the roof.”

A HOLE IN ONE

yo!... whose ya caddy?... innit

it's the time o the season...

here in palookaville..

the big palooka is handicapped...

he has hit a hole in one...

time ta stop diggin...

I SEE NO VIRUS

admiral trump regrets...

sayin all that stuff...

about a pandemic that would not happen...

 he has lead his team out onto the ball park...

without the proper kit...

he plans to keep the game short an sweet...

all ovva by yesterday...

cheap at half the price...

make palookaville great again...

UNFAIR FAIRWAY

we woz robbed...

rubes cheated innit...

wuhan flue...

trade war games...

NOT OUR FAULT

we inherited this virus from the chinese

we are well prepared...

palookas don't catch flu...

it's the economy stupid...

we weren't meant ta close...

democracy will win in the end...

NOBODY DARE LOOK

the scoreboard is obscene...

but the numbers increase exponentially...

ball is inna long grass...

the clubs need a bailout...

THE WRONG KIND OF BAT

can't even reach first base...

balls dropped...

catchers caught...

If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them.

IT GETS LATE EARLY OUT HERE

we got enough bullets...

we got the tanks we need...

best soldiers inna wurl...

we have the best golf courses...

the biggest malls...

little fucker snook in...

unner a radar... innit! 

SOONER OR LATER

we will beat this thing...

thats fo sure...

once we get goin we really get goin...

How can you think and hit at the same time?

it's just that...

we ain't got goin yet

Olympic Game

Yo! cheer leading the mob innit!

on palookaville sport today..

world leader blows out olympic flame with hot air..

olympic games cancelled...

sports jackass of the year awarded..

boeing maxed out... 

can't fly won't fly...

don't test don't tell..

figures fiddled...

what can't be contained won't be contained...

it's a marathon...

not a sprint..

oldest players face relegation...

oil slips...

contagion wins...

spectators banned...

hail mary passes...

no more fun an games...

last of the mohicans...

taking liberties...

voters cry foul as chickens come home to roost...