YOU HAVE ONE NEW MISSED MESSAGE

yo!... virus callin... innit!

calls are cummin in..

ta unlock the lock down..

in palookaville..

nobody likes to..

spend time with..

the family..

their kids..

no one wants to breath..

the new fresh air..

listen to the new silence..

they are getting fed up..

of..

THE VIRUS GAMES

simple cyrus says..

put your hands in the air..

an shake them all about..

this will make my message spread..

especially when you shout..

WE CAME HERE TO PLAY

we've also come to stay..

NEW COVID 20 

if you wish..

ta end the games..

you will have to..

do what you have so far..

disasterously refused to do..

prepare.. prepare..prepare..

test.. test.. test..

trace.. trace.. trace..

quarantine seriously..

not by self..

pay sick pay..

stop travelling..

masks and visors for all..


FORTY SHADES OF GREEN


In Ireland, we consume a great deal of British media.

This means that we’ve been watching..

with growing despair and grief..

 British news reports chronicling a national disaster..

But for weeks now, long before the death rate accelerated..

we’ve been watching and reading your reports with a queasy feeling..

We knew of the measures and plans the Irish government was putting in place to protect us..

and we knew how far..

your government was slipping behind.

When our taoiseach was..

closing our schools and universities,

your prime minister was still telling you to wash your hands..

When our government cancelled St Patrick’s Day celebrations..

 yours allowed the Cheltenham Festival to go ahead..

a potentially massive multi-day super-spreading event of over 250,000 people..

 The contrast was disorientating..

Nowhere was the dissonance more marked than on the weekend before St Patrick’s day..

By that point..

Ireland had banned indoor gatherings of more than 100 people..

but had stopped short of closing the pubs..

A video showing revellers in Temple Bar went viral..

a public outcry ensued; #closethepubs trended on Irish Twitter..

the minister for health commented..

and voluntary pub closures..

began the following morning..


I DRANK IN PETEY LAWLER'S WHILE BILLY STUART SANG

Alone all alone by the wave-washed strand
And alone in a crowded hall

 
The hall it is gay and the waves they are grand
But my heart is not here at all
It flies far away by night and by day

 To the times and the joys that are gone
But I never will forget the sweet maiden I met
In the valley near Slieve Na Mban

coming up..

NEW COVID 21

LAME DUCK PRESIDENT

STATE OF THE UNION

THREE STRIKES AND YOU'RE OUT

CYRUS : THE HAPPY VIRUS

yo! ... host with the most... innit!

well hello..

palookaville..

jus wanna say..

how y'all doin..

so happy to be here..

with y'all tonight..

me an the wife..

we've travelled the world ..

to be here with ya..

in your very own..

throats

TIME TO TOAST THE HOST

we'd lak ta thank y'all..

fo hostin these..

virus games

MAN WE WAS NOWHERE

we was jus chillin out..

slummin it..

with the other animals..

in a wet market..

in china..

ALONG CUMMA VIPER

and bingo..

we was reinvigorated..

an movin an shakin..

innna..

local human throats..

for ya knew it..

we was outta there..

an traveling the world..

by airplane..

first class.. innit!

THE HELPING HAND

we all wanna thank all you..

palookas..

fo the many..

helping hands..

you have shaken..

to help us all spred..

could not have got..

where we are now..

without you..

PARTY TIME AGAIN

we love ta party..

cos you love ta party..

we love ta boogie..

on saturday nights..

wanna thank alla politicos..

fo turnin..

a blind eye..

fo not buyin..

all those pesky..

masks and visors..

PPE shit..

that stuff really sucks..

if y'all had been..

in full PPE kit..

the virus games..

could never have been played..

DEEP THROAT

we love ta live..

in yo throats..

we gets ta eat better..

an drink better..

an the sex is wonderful..

we could not have found..

a better partner..

for these games..

y'all jus love ..

ta travel..

an hug an kiss..

and sing..

an shout..

this all has..

happened so very fast..

CLIMATE CHANGE

no need ta thank us..

for the cleaner air..

the empty roads..

the fall in greenhouse..

emissions..

the fall in crime..

the time off work..

or the wall ta wall..

binge sets..

y'all..

love ta watch..

IT'S BEEN A BALL

the virus games..

are out playing..

all other sports..

tv ratings..

are through the roof..

it ain't a stretch..

ta say..

we have brought the whole world..

to a standstill..

Man we was lonely
Yes we was lonely

 
And we was hard pressed to find a smile

 
Man we was lonely
Yes we was lonely

 
But now were fine all the while