UP THE GARDEN PATH

yo!...itta pantomime...innit?


PALOOKAVILLE FINANCIAL stardate : capitulation day+95


...we three kings from orient are...

...one with a bucket an one wiya jar...

...one onna scoota...pappin it's hoota...

...followin yonder star...



...in palookaville we take Christmas seriously...


...our panto this year is 'up the garden path' by henry gibson...



...a cast of thousands is bin vyin fo a parts wot stars is born of...


petey : ah gone be sinbad cos i gets ta wear a sword...

beulah : ah bags be snowhite cos i gotta cute ass...

laverne : shoot! ah bets at painty bastard meks me be a wicked witch...

...jus becos i gotta wart on me nose...


SNOW WHITE AND THE CRUNCH CREDITS


...featurin --- dubbya as dopey, obama as doc, admiral brown as grumpy, mervyn king as sleepy, gordon trichet as happy...

...and introducin...the american economy as sneezy...


...admiral paulson as aladdin wot lets a genie outa a bottle...


...featurin the fed as the fairy godmother...


...uk economy gone be cinderella...


...nouriel roubini be prince charmin...


...bernanky as the wizard of oz...


LIVE AT THE PALOOKAVILLE ODEON


...here come the plot...

...the capitalist world has been captured by the big bad wolf...who has blown down the gingerbread cottage...built on sand...


...the workin stiffs are bein held inna tower, inna frozen forest of socialism...


...the banks have been taken over by the state in a vain attemt...

...to reflate the financial souflee...


...a great ponzi scheme has been revealed...in place of the financial system...

...and alla kings horses an alla kings men...

...cannot put humpty dumpty back together again...


...sinbad has been saved from bankruptzy by jason and the argonauts who have all their money in golden fleeces....an silver...


...upstairs...inna gods...zeus anna gang are laughing they bollocks off...

...atta twats dahn here inna auditorium o the palookaville odeon...



aladdin : open sesame an lets have a butchers at yo treasure...


goldilocks : f*ck off aladdin we wuz jus allright on our own in heah...

...yo panto dudes jus f*ck it all up...


wizard of oz : follow the yellow brick road...


cinders : get yo freakin maulers offa me ya crazy b...

buttons : cool it sista...yo caint swear inna panto...


puss in boots : where alla credit gone dudes?

audience : itz behind you!..

grumpy brown : oh no itz not...


imf : oh yes it is...


dick wittinghton : 'cats goin crazy fo ta sell they houses...


the grand ole duke o york : had £10,000, an then theys woz worth 10,000 euros...

...and once me funds woz up...an then me funds woz dahn...an now they only halfway up...

...which is neither up nor dahn?..


...INTERVAL...


...act two...


DEEP SHIT '09


...cardboard is the new bricks an morta...


...after a rally towards the inauguration of doc obama...shocks an scares head south...


...again...


...itta black swan song fo a capialism...anna chinese don lak it...


widow twanky : wot fo we gotta be goin broke when it woz em western gits wot started it?


nanky poo : ah so! ...velly sirry western porritix...innit!



dopey : so long suckers...ha,ha,ha!...


Ozzeh : yo! where alla dosh gone man?...

...ah don geddit...one minute we was sailin along onna crest o a bubble...then whumppp!!



paulie : it aint me babe...no..no..no..it aint me babe...it aint me yo lookin for...babe!



sinbad : this panto sucks man...a lak it betta when we woz playin DORKTREK...