CHAOS AT THE FED

time is spinnin out of control and things is happenin out of order....

2001 - A Space Oddity....

.....a bunch a bankers is sittin arahn a dyin camp fire inna desert...each ape dreams of a bigger BONUS. they are hungry and cold and live in fear of some other ape gettin a bigger house than them....

alla a sudden the band starts playin Also Sprak Zarathrustra anna sky guz dark....WWWHAMM...when the apes look up they find that the bank has gone and in itz place stands a..... fruit machine....
wots that?
itta bandit man!
say what? wot kind bandit got spinnin wheels anna lever wi a nob onnit?
itta one armed bandit man...its fo CREATIN money..
how come it be where a banks sposed ta be?
WTF? who cares man! jus pull onna lever an spin some dollas outa it..shit fo brains...duhhh...

the Apes of God giz the lever a tug anna wheels begin ta spin...then they speed up...collidin real dollas inta particle dollas and printin em out by a billion...

sheeeeit man itsa best evva fang wot i seen! one mo theys jus a ordinary bank and then a big bang anna money is CREATED outa nowhere!!

ITZ THE BONUS INNIT!

the bankers is apeshit onna news abaht the new way o creatin money...anotha day anotha billion...pretty soon evva thang bubble up an alla apes get rich....UNTIL...

one day planes start flyin inta skyscrapers anna shit hits a fan...dude atta FED (thats where they keeps the one armed bandit) he gets a robot ta woik the handle day an nite untill noboddy notice anything is wrong any mo...

seven years later aint no planes flyin at all an folks is WAITIN ALL OVVA A WORLD fo planes that don't come ...cossa the DROOP!

whatta droop man? wot fo we gotta have a DROOP?
DROOP gon be big man!..big as a BOOM..
what boom dude? all we did woz pull onna lever...ya know leverage up an buy evva fang in site!
yeah well...ah sure got some bad noos fo yo dude....

ANTI-MONEY

say woy? WTF is dis anti-money man?
well it lak dis dude...yo apes wotz runnin a bank has been pullin onna lever too much and it turns out that fo every dolla wot theys created ta spend...anuvva (ANTI-DOLLA) was created as debt!

MONEY IS DEBT

yo fulla shit man...get em planes flyin agin man... fo i kick yo ass!
aint gonna do nuthin fo yo no mo!! yo f**ked up man...yo deep inna debt DROOP anna bandit wiya one lever anna knob is creatin ANTI-DOLLAS wots eatin up a PONZI-dollas wot yo made wi yo machine...

Meanwhile... back at the.. LAS VEGUS FED

president brush calls in the WIZARD OF OZ to answer some tough questions...

dubbya : nah, ben, me anna boys want ya ta know that nonna this gon be gettin aht til affa the 'lection!

ben : sure boss! anything yo say.

dubbya :wotcha got planned fo ta stop this DELEVERAGIN BLACK HOLE from swallerin up the world economy?

ben : sure boss! anything yo say.

dubbya : how much ammo yo got leff atta FED ta prop uppa bankin system?

ben : sure boss! no problem man.

dubbya : how long before the HARDON is back?

ben : sure boss! anything yo say.

dubbya : what is the next step inna plan ta end da DROOP?

ben : what DROOP? i see no DROOP!

dubbya : Droop be wot we has affa da HARDON clapse...folks skint anall..houses empty...planes grahnded...SUV's onna lot...troops got no bullits!

ben : sure boss! sure...by the way boss...do you actually have any proof of this DROOP?